I remember the long arc back to my college years when life appeared in binary terms – success/failure, acceptance/rejection, love/loss – and I vividly remember the stings and ecstasies of both. I see that similar disposition in students. A ‘C’ grade ruins them, a heartbreak destroys all future possibilities of happiness, and then on the other track an ‘A’ grade glorifies them, and triumph affirms their superstardom destiny; and again and again, I try to be the sandpaper that reminds them an ‘A’ is a challenge, just as a ‘C/D/F’ may be an opportunity. Success and failure are often equal imposters.
Most often, this teaching happens outside the classroom. One of my students came to me in the process of, and then in the final stage of, being dismissed from the university. He was devastated and also entirely to blame for the actions that led to his dismissal. I assured him that this might be the most defining moment of his life, not at all because of failure but because of its opportunity. “This could be the moment when you discover who you want to be and not be. Seize it. Wallow in it. But don't ever forget that life is long enough that this horrible moment may be your great opportunity.”
I have caught more than one student in the midst of cheating on a quiz, a test, an assignment. Certainly the university has a protocol for cheating. However, more important to me than the administrative steps, I ask a student if he or she is a cheater. Almost always, they respond no, no way, this was an accident, a mistake, etc. My response is simple and always the same: ‘If you cheat, you become a cheater. If you aren't a cheater, don't cheat, not even once. This is your time to figure out who you are. Let me know when you have figured it out.’ Often I see the outcome. He or she declares the turnaround to never cheat again, and they don't. I believe them. Sometimes there is silence, or the student drops out of the class. While troubling, maybe those students have figured out who they are as well. I trust that our students' roads extend beyond their time here on The Bluff, and each student carries the experiences and conversations and moments of reflection with them. Grace rarely happens in an expected way. (p. 6)
Work Cited
Frederking, Lauretta. "The Falling Down Moments." Portland: The University of Portland Magazine, vol. 35, no. 1, Spring 2016, p. 6.
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